D’you ever notice humans are always returned by the aliens?
Does anyone remember why we wore all those zippers in the ‘80’s?
Fear of Sharia Law in America? That’s so middle-20th-century-Europe. Come on crazies, at least be realistic.
Relax straighty. Being gay is an attraction, not a super power. I can’t overpower and rape you, I can only ogle your sweet ass.
Urinetown - Cladwell http://t.co/yGwWqcY
It’s amazing how they can figure out the earthquake in Japan will cost $170B but we can’t get accurate vote counts.
I can’t. I’m just not smart enough. Therefore the whole mess will henceforth be referred to as “Lybrya”.
Maybe if God wasn’t so busy helping singers and athletes she’d have time to stop Earthquakes and shit.
Considering the mess they left behind, no-one from the W administration should say anything about current military policy.
The story goes that when Winston Churchill was...
"1945-1998" by Isao Hashimoto: CTBTO Preparatory... →
Weird, beautiful and terrifying.
Thanks to my mother, I thought potatoes grew in the human ear until I was about 10.
Ladies and gentlemen, at this evening’s performance the part of “The Moon” normally played by The Moon will be played by……….Nevermind.
A hearty Erin Go Fuck Yourselves to the Ancient Order of Hiberians for 20 years of refusing to let gays march in their parade.
Pull toy action.
The recitation of pre-determined phrases offered up to the ether in the hopes of bringing about change. “Prayers” are just “spells”.
They’ll never stop selling us oil, they have nothing else of value, so let’s ball up and get rid of the lunatics already.
Have you cried during a movie?
Now, Voyager. Bette Davis and Paul Henried. Every. Fucking. Time. Also Jennifer and I went to see Beaches because I thought “Bette Midler. That sounds fun.” Then it got sad and Jen looked at me, us both crying, and said “should be fun my ass!.” and we laughed the whole time Barbara Hershey died. Ask me anything
Why would I be excited to see you again? I didn’t like you then and never thought of you the whole decade you were gone so back off Asskiss.
You’d think at some point @andersoncooper would run into Dora.
Why would I?
Child molester Jesus got moved from parish to parish until he got shot by a victims in a righteous revenge killing.
Clearly, Lithium is under prescribed.
I don’t know….the Earth seems pretty pissed off about something. But it don’t confide in me, I’m just saying.
This is another in a long string of incidents whereupon Earth is trying to shake off parasites.
I thought the shit was funny. I follow him now.
2000 years ago a long haired freak in sandals goes on a bender in the woods for 40 days and now I’m to give up meat? Can I still suck cock?
do you enjoy working with kids? do you wish you...
Aside from a lack of discipline and experience, kids bring incredible energy and creativity. They are, at certain ages, much less inhibited than adults, and much more inhibited at other ages. I never expected to spend so much time with kids. I have sympathy for disappointed kids but not enough to cave. Kids who get distraught or worse have a skewed sense of priority or an inflated sense of their...
I may smell like an ashtray but you look like one. #gowashyourhead
Hey did you guys know there are people IRL who never heard of @sween @thebosha or @ruthakers ? It’s like the fucking Ukrain out there.
Aren’t tigers endangered?
I’m a cynic but I recognize joy. For instance, the last two years for Bill Clinton. That’s joy.
You realize you don’t really have a soul right? And there is no heaven. Rotting in the dirt alone. That’s the future. Anyway…Spring!!
Just ordered e-cigarettes. Smokeless nicotine delivery means I don’t have to get up to go smoke. Sloth win!
what do you look for when a person does an...
Can they play the role? Can I, and by extension the audience, believe this person in this part in this production? That’s what I look for. How badly a performer wants a role doesn’t, and shouldn’t, have anything to do with their being cast. Yeah, the way someone looks totally affects how they’re cast (but that changes from production to production.) How people look with...
Why abolish the Dept. of Education and keep building up the Dept. of Defense? Are stupid people worth defending?
A new source of power… called gasoline has been... →
A new source of power… called gasoline has been produced by a Boston engineer. Instead of burning the fuel under a boiler, it is exploded inside the cylinder of an engine. The dangers are obvious. Stores of gasoline in the hands of people interested primarily in profit would constitute a fire…
I figure I’ve made all the memories worth making by now.
The female pigeon cannot lay eggs if she is alone....
More proof that ovaries are just weird. Ask me anything
Find your name's best anagram →
cyberczar: assassinoel: disturbingimages: JEANS ‘N’ KEYS BLOOD AND ORNATELY HIM IN CLOSE CALL ACCLAIM HELMLESS JOIN (w/ my middle name) I rather like “Him in close call” TBH. STABBING HOMOS did I do this right?
WI republicans can’t get their shit done without bargaining with the democrats, collectively. See how that works?
I have dog blood, but I keep it in my dog.
The truth is, you don’t have to actually suck it for all that long. Once it’s wet, you can kill time licking the balls and using your hands.
Boy Scouts? Touch and go. Religious run? Please. Truthfully, the safest camp for you son is Musical Theater Camp.
Is there no other snarky 30 yo(ish) actor working on TV to play that role? Why should Ducky and the fat kid be out of work,?