Anaphylactic shock be damned. I bought this fucking chianti and I intend to drink it.
I admit, my memory is faulty, but did God ever say anything to Adam and Eve about love? It was all “be fruitful and multiply” but that’s it.
In the cruelest twist of fate yet, I think I have developed an allergy to sulphites.
My bedroom smells like a drunk person has been sleeping in it but it’s only been me so I don’t know what’s going on.
Jesus is appearing in at least 3 Broadway musicals right now. Don’t tell me he doesn’t like gay men.
On the other hand, children killing each other for the enjoyment of the populace saves the rest of us from having to do it.
I prefer Thirsty Games.
Back in the day we had “hooded sweatshirts” or “sweatshirts with hoods” and they knew their place and how to behave.
Who'dathunk Ricky'd be the ugly one! -... →
All this time I thought “hoodies” referred to uncircumcised peni.
Randy Rainbow kills it. again. →
N.Y. loves hot, in shape guys who spend time on their knees. Welcome Tebow
I have to go to DMV but I’m having a hard time choosing which outfit, the burqua or the haz-mat suit?
The thumb and middle finger of my right hand no longer meet when I grab my left bicep. Heart attacks are fattening.
Sometimes I wonder. Then I don’t.
Cabernet sauvignon, merlot, pinot noir, malbec, zinfandel, burgandy, bordeaux. You know what? They all taste like red fucking wine.
The new production of Evita starring Ricky Martin. I thought Elena Roger was good, without the power of Patti, she sang it well and did more dancing than I expected, which impressed me, and I think her accent, perfect as it is, exposed over and over again a score written by Englishmen. Ricky is adorable. Although, he didn’t have the intensity Mandy had and I want to know why he...
I’ve never been willing to do what it takes to be popular. I’ve also never known what “it” was, or you bet your ass I would have done it.
Anonymous hacked into the Vatican’s computers. Could you imagine the levels of depravity that porn must reach?
I’m so rejection shy I won’t even initiate a game of Words With Friends.
I’m uncomfortable with how close you are to me when we’re stopped next to each other at a red light.
I was supposed to see a therapist. Instead I sent a link to my twitter feed. Today I got a prescription and a restraining order in the mail.
I’d give anything for a single hit of what Frank Gehry’s been smoking all these years.
I prefer being addicted
People who don’t want to read disappoint me. People who don’t want you to read terrify me.
Empty testicles are happy testicles. Do your part and empty a pair today.
Though I’m an old man, I’ve learned a lot about technology, none of which has made me less of an asshole.
“Dwarfs are very upsetting”. True words Mr. Sondheim. True words.
I was so relieved to discover the wet-sheepdog smell wasn’t coming from me but was, in fact, a wet sheepdog.
I still owe homework from 3rd grade.
So Jesus turned water into wine for some wedding but won’t turn water into gasoline for us? Asshole.
I don’t care what the liberals say, I don’t care what the naysayers say, this...– The Reverend DENNIS TERRY, in remarks delivered at a rally for Republican presidential candidate Rick Santorum at the Greenwell Springs Baptist Church in Louisiana yesterday. Rick Santorum stood up and applauded these remarks, along with those from the Reverend denouncing homosexuality and...
Mormons, if you want to baptize me after I’m dead I’m fine with that. Just know, I think Joseph Smith and Brigham Young were lovers.
I’d be a much more successful social climber if I wasn’t afraid of heights.
Please stay back at least 200 feet.
If the Republican’s were serious about beating Obama they would run Bill Clinton.
I do my best work with my nose in your pubic hair and my chin against your sac.
I think I may finally be ready to accept turning 40.
Accepting ass pictures tonight. Show me the buns.
What book to start next is a decision more fraught with peril than choosing a man. You can’t un-read a book.